I used to be a person that was career driven and goal oriented. I had always worked 2 jobs since I was 16. I like to make money and I love to save it. I found myself married and pregnant during my sophomore year of college (I took a break for a year and half prior to that). I promised myself that I would finish my degree. Our son was born and I decided to stay home wiht him for a period of time, and breaking from college again. But soon I found myself working a full-time job, going to college, and being a wife and mother. We had another baby, I didn’t have the opportunity to stay home with her like I did with our son, but I kept going on the schooling. I graduated!!! I got my first “real” job. I finally found myself important in my field, respected, and confident.
It wasn’t long before an overwhelming sense of emptiness crept up on me.
My daughter had cried for 4 years everyday when I picked her up from daycare. That can really take a toll on a person. We were not able to put our kids in extra curricular activities, because I couldn’t make the games or practices. I wasn’t able to attend school parties or functions or allow my kids to join clubs. There were many weeks that I wouldn’t see my son from Wednesday until Friday night. I cried, I cried a lot. When my husband would call and have the kids tell me goodnight while I sat in an office an hour away, I cried
Handing over a chunk of my paycheck to a person for keeping my child really began to a repeated stabbing feeling every other week. I mean, they were doing the job that I REALLY WANTED TO DO! After listening to a popular radio personality, I began to realize that perhaps by goals had changed and I am no longer that person that I was at 22 years old that was career driven. I decided along with my husband that motherhood was the area that I was going to focus on for this time in our kids life.
Honestly, I didn’t want children until later in life, if ever. I ended up having them earlier than most, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, they are glorious and make me happier than anything else. This is why I decided to stay home, it may not be right for others and the career and motherhood might be a job that others balance well. I can see both sides of the fence, being a working mom, being a stay-at-home mother. They both have their advantages and disadvantages, but the choice is always your own, you have to decide what is right for you and your children.
© Bay Area Mothers Club